For many couples, trying to conceive is the result of a long decision process. Especially today, couples are able to more or less determine when in life they want to have a baby, or at least when they want to start allowing the possibility. If you’ve come to the point where you want to have a baby, you’ve taken the first step. You need to make sure, however, that you’re doing it for the right reasons.

Here are some reasons why couples choose to try to conceive that may, in the grand scheme of things, not be the best reasons:

  • You’re afraid you might not be able to conceive. It’s a common fear among both men and women: “What if I’m infertile?” In some cases, the question will niggle at you until you do decide to try to have a baby. When that happens, you’re likely to go full throttle, and do everything you can to get pregnant. The better course might be to relax for a bit, take off some pressure. Take a break from birth control for a while, and if it happens then it happens. Otherwise, relax until you have a more compelling reason.
  • Everyone else is getting pregnant. The thing about peer groups is that, on average, we tend to hang out with folks our own age. It’s possible your friends will start getting pregnant, or at least trying to conceive. That being said, there’s no reason to jump into parenthood just because your best friend does. Wait for your own time.
  • You get obsessed. Some folks just get obsessed. Their latest “project” winds up being a desire to get pregnant. Don’t mistake being bored with a desire to have a baby. Invest your free time and free thoughts somewhere else for a while.
  • You want to fix your relationship. Having a baby is probably the worst solution to a troubled relationship. In more cases than not, pregnancy or even just trying to conceive can strain your connection with your spouse. Don’t look to pregnancy or a baby to fix everything.
  • Your parents told you to. Your parents might think it’s time. So what? That has nothing to do with you. Don’t let family pressure you into getting pregnant before you’re truly ready.