TTC and Choosing a Name
Date posted: August 10, 2009
As people we tend to want to give names to things, especially our offspring. However, if you are trying to conceive and have had several miscarriages and already had a name picked out you may feel like you need to come up with a name for each pregnancy. On the other hand, you may feel like the name you have picked out is the right name for the child that is your firstborn. Regardless of how you feel about the naming issue it’s up to you to decide what is right. Some couples may feel like they need to name the fetus that ends up being miscarried while other couples may feel like they don’t need to. It’s a very personal issue and one that each couple should handle on their own without any outside influence or opinions. Of course, the length of the pregnancy comes into play in many cases. Late miscarriages and stillborn births more often cause the couple to feel like their child needs a name and that is completely fine. A miscarriage or stillbirth is one of the worst things that can happen to a couple and any coping mechanism that works is highly recommended.
Of course, there are many couples who won’t have to experience miscarriages and they may be wondering at what point it’s okay to start thinking about names. Every couple is different, but most women don’t feel “safe” about their pregnancies until after the first trimester. The first trimester is when the majority of miscarriages happen and in most cases pregnancies that make it past the first 12 weeks will make it all 40! That’s good news, but it won’t lessen the anxiety for couples who have been trying to conceive for years and that when the pregnancy finally happens they can’t quite accept it as being the truth until the bundle of joy actually arrives. It’s normal however couples should start thinking about names towards the end of their second trimester/beginning of the third trimester. This is far enough into the pregnancy that couples should feel comfortable about the outcome and still allows enough time to come up with a name everyone can agree on. Many couples find that when it actually comes time to name their baby they can’t find a name they agree on.
The best advice is to take the pregnancy one step at a time and start talking about names whenever both members of the couple are ready. Don’t include other people either because coming up with a name among two individuals is challenging enough. Not to mention if you have several names you really love you don’t want to risk hearing people criticize them!
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