Fertility Problems and Your Marriage
Fertility struggles can cause a severe amount of stress. The roller coaster of hope, disappointment, acceptance, planning, trying and back to hope can take you through the entire range of the human emotional experience. It’s no wonder that fertility problems are, in a great many cases, responsible for relationship breakups and even divorce.
Now, it’s not uncommon for a couple who can’t seem to agree on whether or not to have kids in the first place to have some marital struggles. After all, just because both partners believe, when they’re married in their early 20s, that they won’t ever want kids doesn’t mean they can’t change their minds. Sometimes, one partner will change their mind, and the other won’t, which can lead to divorce.
But in some cases fertility problems can wreak havoc on a marriage. Here are a few of the ways fertility struggles can hurt your marriage, if you’re not vigilant:
- Resentment. Sometimes, one partner will resent the other because of fertility issues. A man may feel like his wife is putting too much pressure on him to help conceive a child, for example. A woman may resent her husband because he doesn’t seem to take as active a role in fertility as she does. If these feelings start to bubble up to the surface, it can be a real problem.
- Stress. That emotional roller coaster causes a lot of stress. Sometimes, it’s that stress that causes marriage problems. You’re so stressed out from trying to conceive that you treat your partner poorly, or that you don’t enjoy her company.
- Disappointment and disillusionment. Sometimes, when you can’t conceive a child, you can become disillusioned. You begin to feel that the marriage is doomed, and that you’ll never be able to have children. This can lead to depression, which can severely affect a marriage.
If you’re struggling with some of these feelings, don’t just ignore them. Talk to a mental health care provider, therapist or other counselor. You may find that it’s simply a matter of dealing with these feelings together, rather than allowing them to totally destroy your relationship.
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